qu'est-ce que c'est? je ne sais pas. je ne comprends pas.

in a conversation today the question came up about what is a date.

honestly - at what point does the "hanging out" end and "dating" actually begins? we had several theories. mostly ridiculous ("it's when you get all dressed up - you know, when you wear a dress" and "but if you end up alone - like you go with a bunch of friends and they end up leaving you two - that's not a date."

or is it?

and when did guys (or girls) just stop asking straight up "hey - do you want to go to blah blah with me?" key words = "with me."

my godmother over the weekend asked me "you go out on dates, right?" and i had to fess up and say no. because really - i don't. i'm not sure i ever have been on many dates. it's almost like magic - somehow i end up with guys without an *overt* dating process. maybe i have been asked out and i just don't know it.

furthermore - to be a little more technical - my coping mechanism protects from disappointment by construing possible advances as mere shows of friendship or, at worst, boredom. i've seriously been surprised by the guys that finally show that they like me - i thought maybe it could have happened, but realistically, i told myself - no way in hell. haha. and then things move along and i'm making out with a guy before we've even been on a so-called date.

i confuse even myself.


along a similar line, we talked about what we thought the relationship "process" was.
hers went like this: hanging out > pre-date > dating > relationship (bf&gf) > engaged > marriage.
mine: confusion > hanging out > confusion > pre-date > confusion > hanging out > confusion > dating > confusion > relationship > engaged > marriage

as you can see, confusion is a common theme in my relationship line. i'd probably have more confusion near the end of that line, but i haven't reached that point. i'm hoping the cloud clears up by then.

by the way, a "pre-date" is when it's not a date (because they didn't ask you out) but you end up together learning more about each other (thus putting it beyond the normal hanging out).

seriously, i need to stop thinking so much. definitions get me in trouble sometimes.

but if you have some thoughts on what a date is - let me know! :)