my heart goes pitter patter.

yesterday I had the pleasure of attending a taping of the colbert report. YES. ex-ci-ting.

I reserved the tickets a couple of months ago – but apparently, some people just requested tickets the day before. bastards (kidding, but not). as the unemployed person of the group, I got there just around 5pm. the taping was supposed to start around 8pm, but everyone needed to get there by 6pm. my peeps thankfully all made it on time – one got there right just as the check-in people came around and asked if everyone in my group was there. fyi – there are only 107 audience seats at colbert report; apparently, the daily show has about 200. (sidenote: I will be attending the daily show in october. jon stewart, I love you.)

inside there was a tiny room and a long line for the bathroom. we waited around for a bit, watching an old show and then the audience coordinator tried to get us worked up, as is his job. he looked a bit stressed. he did, however, let us know that we were in for a surprise – we would be the audience for TWO interviews. one was being pre-recorded for next week and the guest was……

KEVIN COSTNER.

yes. mr. waterworld. bodyguard. and some crappy movies. haha. he was there to promote his newest film, swing vote.

we also found out stephen colbert’s middle name was tyrone (cue erykah badu). eventually they let us in and we were seated near the middle on the right, which was good until i realized during the taping that there was a camera in obstructing my view during certain parts. bah. i love colbert’s set. it was pretty sweet seeing that infinity colbert portrait, the captain america shield, the colbert body outline on the ground, the collection of cliff notes, the microwave he stole from bill o’reilly (that was his personal microwave, btw), etc.

anyways, there was a warm-up comedian. i forget his name – but he called my crew a benetton ad after two of us started to crack up randomly. needless to say, i was one of the two cracked up and drew attention to our motley group. whoops. at least i wasn’t the old, grey-haired white theatre producer with my hair in braids and a bad pink (probably used to be red) dye job on the edges.

then came mr. stephen colbert! I have to shamelessly admit, i was seriously excited to see him. seeing him in person, i almost thought he was cute. of course, he was adorable simply because he’s funny and i’m a sucker for that. if you make me laugh, i love you. and sometimes, i want to have your baby.

he took audience questions. some dumb (one guy asked if he would to tape in LA – i say his question was dumb because he was wearing the most ridiculous shirt ever AND it was unbottoned enough to bare a bit of his unimpressive chest.) others were nice - he actually sang happy birthday to a man – in latin, no less. this man is amazing. haha.

they then moved on the kevin costner interview, which started off a bit rocky, since mr. costner’s mic was a bit low. but they fixed that problem and costner was actually pretty funny and damn that man for his charismatic grin. at one point, colbert asked if costner would run for office; his answer – “my life has been too colorful.” oh ho ho. what a secret life we lead.

they then went on with the night’s show. overall, i loved it, except i’m a wimp and as soon as i know i don’t have to clap or cheer i shut down. it takes a lot of effort to keep up your energy, especially when you’re thirsty/hungy. my favorite part was his interview with the congresswoman from the 14th district – the breast pump bit just kep cracking me up. colbert during the breaks was also golden – i was a big fan of his music choices and he was singing along to all of them as his make-up and hair crew, as well as his writers, circled him. he even did a bit of playful tie dance with his wardrobe girl when he had to switch ties. can i work for him, pleeeeease???



if you’re ever in ny, i say you have to go to a taping. you just need to keep checking the colbert report’s website. it is absolutely worth the effort. fucking awesome.