thinking back.

i came across this commercial this morning. and it (along with some other things) really got me thinking... but first, the ad:


(Agency: King James | Client: Allan Gray Investments)

i love this ad. it's from south africa and it's well-done, well-made (except maybe for a few digital transposing of dean's visage that could have been smoother) - particularly impressive, considering the detail. they even actually used a replica of the porsche spyder.

anyways, as you can see, it features james dean in a sort of reverse biography, chronicling all these things he might have done if he had lived.

the operative word, of course, being IF.

that word - IF - pregnant with possibilities, but riddled with restrictions, always left wondering which way things could have gone.

which brings me to what my friend tonight kept coming back to - how he regrets a few things from college and how he knew it could have been better. i assured him, saying that he was fine and he should just let those regrets go. i knew him back then. he was happy, plenty of friends, full social calendar, accomplished in school... and now he's still in a good place. i mean, this boy is pretty well-off - he's got a kick-ass job and he's way farther along in his career than i am. he has a gf. he's laughing and drinking. he gets to travel a bit on the company dollar.

why waste your thoughts thinking about how things could have been? or even worse feeling regretful and nostalgic about it? you know you can't go back. you can only move forward.

but i know what it's like to feel haunted. and even though i tell him it's ok and that's he's fine, i feel a bit guilty - cuz i know i think back a lot and re-hash what could have been different, what i could have done better.

and i know i should stop feeling that way. but it's hard.

i just think of the potential, the myriad of chances & choices, the numerous outcomes that lay before me at one point... i dwell on the IF and i can't help but pause for a second, my mind focused on those forks in the road i came across.

but after that second, i have to shake it off and just breathe.
because really - my life's not over.
there is still more to be done.

there is more to come.